The idea of trying to write anything poignant after a 12 hour workday is a Herculean task. This is why I have never had the energy in the past to get serious or establish a routine. That said, I am ok with the idea of everything I write being bad or vapid for awhile simply so I can establish a habit and eventually get better at it.

I love my work. I am very much digging into it with my sleeves rolled up every day. I’m extremely passionate about what I do and what I advocate for. I just can’t talk about it in a public forum. That and the fact I don’t think many other people would find it as fascinating as I do.

My day became a 12 hour day because I am always eager to accommodate other people’s needs above my own. I have never been one to watch the clock and end my day at the specific time my “shift” ends. It’s very hard for me to keep commitments to myself or have much left in the tank. This is the time of day I settle into brainless activities like watching Bravo reality tv shows, surfing social media and doing crossword puzzles, followed by endless tik tok video perusing while in bed.

One commitment I have made to myself is that any time it’s a rainy day, I will do a bubble bath instead of a shower. I had my bathroom renovated pretty much around the desire to install a fabulous soaking tub. It’s my favorite thing in my house. All day today I knew that was ahead of me but by the time I finally finished working I thought it was just too much hassle and I didn’t have much “down” time ahead of me for the evening. I would still need to make dinner and respond to emails. But, I made a promise for a reason. I need that relaxation time to reset my nervous system and force my body to relax. Therefore, I did end up taking my bubble path. Plus, I can save time on dinner tonight because I have leftover homemade pesto from last night that is absolutely decadent.

This week is going to be extremely busy and very acutely focused on work, more so than usual so I may not have much to say in this forum. Bear with me. Again, this is about establishing a habit first. Then I will hold myself accountable to being more meaningful. A lot of my writing intent is to go deep into my life as a single woman, age 47, owning my own home and battling life’s catastrophes and moments of whim mostly alone. There really is a lot of meaty content there. A lot of it is around battling and managing mental illness. The fact I can dedicate myself so wholly and unapologetically to my job right now is a result of those illnesses “healing” and opening doors to productivity which is a really good thing.