Ok, first time I’ve done my own tarot in at least 20 years and the results are freaky accurate as shit!

The question I asked was about career – am I on the right path and, if not, how do I get there?

One thing I was thinking earlier today on my drive home from the Cape is about masculine vs. feminine energy. I believe I am over indexed on masculinity when it comes to how I take action and move through life….especially on the job as a leader. Lately, I have felt more of a pull to the feminine. I also wonder if that’s because of a medication I am currently on which is changing my hormonal balance physically. It’s either mental or physical but the mystic arts have been grabbing at me a ton recently and they are of the feminine nature.

In several cards, there is talk of both masculine and feminine energy achieving balance as I work towards future endeavors. Found that interesting in how present it came through.

My first card was phenomenal and represents who I am in this moment: Strength. Not only that, it’s a picture of a woman riding a lion, I am a Leo. This card essentially represents the equilibrium of the physical and spiritual worlds. How fitting, since an hour ago I proclaimed I would be intentionally providing more space for my spiritual world. Plus, that’s where I see long term career. This card also talks about animal instincts tempered with sacrifice. I interpret that as understanding I will need to make sacrifices along the way and maybe temper down the “animal” state I am always in towards goals….not necessarily the ones I want but the ones I think I am supposed to have. I basically got chills with this card as it answered my question pretty much right off the bat and let me know I am in the right bed space for what I want.

Ace of Wands represents immediate influence that lies just ahead. Aces represent beginnings. They are ruled by the sun (Leo) and bring enlightenment or can explode under their own energy. Sounds a lot like me too…my own worst enemy at times. This card represents the moment of “glorious creation.” Leadership potential comes with self sacrifice….interesting. Creative ventures and physical action. Sacrifice is required to produce creativity. I definitely know what this is referring to. This is my struggle with $ and independence vs. ability to chase dreams/happiness.

3rd card is about goal/destiny and I pulled Two of Wands (more wands) = Dominion. Man and woman defiantly facing each other standing on top of the world, both seeking power and dominion. This could be internal or external for me. There is a battle here….power over others is being sought. Is this men vs. women like in politics right now and how that influences my mental state? Does this mean I could be prevented from my goals if men win and oppress us? That’s a legit fear. Or, is it the battle inside of me….the male war machine vs. who I want to be…a little gentler and spiritual.

Card 4= The Emperor – sitting on a throne with a backdrop of fire (Leo again). Intellect, majesty, freedom and strength. This is my distant past foundation. Hunter, male energy. Crown has seven rays of chakras indicating spiritual development via intelligence. Totally me. Purple robe = power. There is also nature. And physical power. Needs feminine intuition. Heavy boots = aloofness and to protect oneself from unwanted forces. Sounds like me. The thrones has six sides – air, water, fire, earth, time and space = complete creativity. The negative side of this card is about lack of self discipline, self control. I see both sides of this card in my past. I see where I have had great mastery of my strength as well as my self destructive side which is just as powerful. I had about a 3-4 year issue not too far back which I am picking up in this card which equates to stagnation on my part.

Card 5: Ten of Swords = recent past events. This is my first of 3 sword cards ( in addition to 3 wand cards). Tens deal with male/female – sun and moon. The union of opposites. Ruin. Card of mental death. Cycle of dissection and analysis is over. Maybe because I know what I really want to doing figured it out within the past 2 weeks. There is fear, paranoia and sorrow here as the death of a situation has occurred. I can see that. There has been something kicking around in my head about belief and how much higher up the mountain to take it. Admitting to it would mean letting go of something important, significant for me. That’s something I need to grapple with in order to move forward or not.

Card 6: Four of Wands = future influence- fours are building blocks, foundations. Jupiter. Perfected Work. This card is foundation of creativity showing children playing happily. It’s a card of joy and prosperity. Real estate/new home. Very interesting!

Card 7: this card represents me and my present attitude in these circumstances. It’s about perspective. Temperance = sun and moon again. Moon suggests fluidity and cycles of time. Sun is physical and indicates change through time. One can be temperate in mind and action and eventually things will manifest themselves ( a word I referenced earlier today.). Wait for the right moment. Unafraid of contact with earth and cosmos. Sacrifice comes up again, some fear of uncontrolled emotions. Justice, victory, intelligence. A persons own thoughts can interfere with or prevent event from occurring (self destructive me.) woman in this card is compared to Strength card in some distance from tree of life meaning a metaphysical emergence above and beyond ones self. This is a very accurate description of my current state of mind. On the verge of something but could also be the reason it doesn’t happen.

Card 8 is about environmental factors – my influence on other people. Could also be how others affect me. This is the Knight of Swords and is a little scary. Knights = action. Forces behind present and future actions. I have 2 knights in this reading so action is heavy in here. Elements of air. Sword in left hand. Strong, dominating, brave person. Clever, persuasive, charismatic (like the men I get easily fooled by or myself in how I can be towards others.). Do not cross this person. That’s a little ominous. That could be good in that no one can get in my when I am determined or it could mean there is a major obstacle in my way I can’t surmount. Opposition and battle imminent. Mental alertness present. There is nothing in the cards indicating any forces stronger than me so I am not sure what this could be. Probably my dad telling me I can’t afford to be myself which I have been hearing for 30 years and landed me in this conundrum.

Card 9 represents inner emotions and I pulled Knight of Pentacles – more action so you can tell I’m feeling antsy and want to make a move. Earth, nature. Signifies mature, responsible person who is worldly and experienced. Yes! Exactly what I am aiming for. Dependable, methodical, capable. This what I’m trying to do, chase a dream while being fiscally smart. The situation requires slow, methodical handling. Yep. Truthfulness to self and others. Yep…worried about that too.

Card 10 is the final result and summation of all the cards. I pulled the 2 of swords. This means Peace Restored. This makes me feel optimistic, the twos are ruled by the moon which is emotion and intuition. Meaning I have identified where I belong and who I am…at least in this reading. Blindfolded man and woman facing each other as if ready for duel but are calling an emotional and mental truce. So this could mean we get rid of Trump and the GOP or I’m finding inner balance with my masculine and fem energy. Either one is a win. Need for change is present. Differences are reconciled. The waters of emotion can still rise.

I know it’s been 20 years since I have done these but I don’t recall ever getting a clearer reading on who I am and who I am fighting to be. Plus, I have a lot of reason to believe I will win as long as I am careful in next steps and make rational decisions along the way. I am going to document every time I do a reading as I believe there is a story here. I want it all recorded to see what comes of it both just to notice my personal evolution but also in the event I can make a meaningful witting about it in the future.