As I was swiping disappointedly through dating websites today, it occurred to me that a lot of these guys are only asking for the things they want and not even dropping hints of what they might have to offer. I found myself asking in my head “so why exactly would I want to date you?”

It further occurred to me that we gals have been getting raised so much stronger in recent decades. We provide for ourselves much more often. We have strong educations. We can manage mortgages and even single parenting. We have access to our own retirement savings. Granted, we still make less than the mediocre male, but we get by on it. We would love for some things to be easier. We would love to be loved for who we are. But we don’t need a whole lot. In fact, marriage was never once mentioned by my mother as something I should be working towards. So it changes the male offering. A guy with a job and a car and maybe a house doesn’t really impress me much. I have all that too. I want something I don’t have. And that’s a hard, small list to come up with.

This guy wants to go skiing. Cool. That doesn’t interest me. This guy wants to spend time hiking, running and rowing. I enjoy that stuff on occasion and can do it when I want to. Don’t need him. This other one has kids “who come first, ladies.” 1) Duh, that should go without saying. 2) Kids are baggage. Not saying I wouldn’t incorporate them into my life for the right person but 43 years without them and a job which pays well for adoption and health insurance/IVF….let’s just say I’d have them if I wanted them, even without a man. This other one “works hard to fulfill my dreams.” That’s nice. So do I. Next….

“Must be ready to go bowling, movies and snowboarding.” Ok, will you be ready for the beach, Cape weekends, concerts and travel….anything I might be interested in? This other one calls out that he is 5’5 in a way that indicates it’s important to girls and shouldn’t be. Yep, just like Weight is important to you boys. You are short and I am fat. Life isn’t fair, is it? Then this other guy says health and fitness are important to him as are achieving his goals and he wants a woman who wants that. Ok, do I get to want anything?

This one’s got 3 teenagers and wants someone with no drama. That’s funny. Not one of my friends with kids of any range will tell you their lives are drama free. Still laughing at that requirement. “Recently single, first time dating in 20 years”…so you are looking for a tutor and are likely very, very, very bad at sex. No, thank you. Bad sex I can get anywhere. Really great sex and not having to teach someone how to date appeal a little more to me. You should look for a recently single woman who has also been out of the dating scene for 2 decades….unless she has been stuck having really bad sex all that time…then you don’t have a chance with her either.

My profile certainly isn’t perfect but I talk a little more conceptually in terms of having grit, truth, humor, creativity, passion….all of which tell you directionally what someone can expect to get from me and what I respect in others. It leaves a lot of activities wide open. It leaves various body types and activity levels open. And if you want to be found sexy by me, a little feminism will go a long way.

I can take or leave your skiing addiction. Skiing isn’t for me so you can still go with your friends. Or, I am happy to go along and read a book by a fire until you are ready to pound some beers. Or I can meet you at the bottom of the mountain for a high 5. There are possibilities. I love the beach. If you don’t want to sit on it all weekend with me, go fishing or go golfing. I will pound beers with you later. You want to hike. I can be down with that but can we throw in a museum stroll on occasion? If not, you hike and I will museum. We can pound beers after. I love guacamole. We can eat that at a restaurant. We can eat it at home. You don’t even have to eat it all and I will still like you. Beer belly? Me too. Want to get rid of it? Me too. How we do it? So many possibilities.

I guess what I am saying is that girls have been raised for centuries to figure out how to please men and get married. When will boys get raised on how to please women and make them want to marry them? It’s kind of like the wage gap. It’s starting to get noticed but it will take about 150 years to settle it up. It feels like we are 150 years away from men worrying that they might not be marriage material and need to change it up. Hence, why I will probably be forever single. #Forever80cents